9-29-10

Focus Thought

Inner Beauty is evident in the shining eyes of compassion, a smile of understanding, and the tender touch of love.

            There is nothing more important in my life than my marriage and my relationship with my husband. As I was thinking what homemade “gift of the heart” to give John this year, I thought back on the one I gave him last year.  I was beginning to feel “Us” slipping into a mediocre routine of just daily life and not giving our relationship the quality and intensity it deserved.  It’s easy for this to happen in marriage, but mediocrity must be fought diligently to keep one’s marriage alive.

            So I gave the gift of the “Fruits of the Spirit” from Galatians 5:22-23.  I focused intentionally this year on giving John my first fruits in my actions, thoughts, and feelings toward him.  How does one do this? Let me break it down by each “spirit”.

Love: Show love in daily actions, not merely saying the words. What actions best convey your love to your mate?  Do you do things for them that really make them feel loved and fills their love tank?

Joy: Are you of good nature and a joy to be around? Do you “dump” negative on their shoulders?  Do you show passion for your loved one more than anger?

Peace: Is your home environment filled with peace that speaks of comfort and calmness? Your home should always be their favorite place to be. Life can be hectic, but your home does not have to reflect it, but rather deflect life’s challenges. Your home needs to be a safe haven for your troubled and weary thoughts. A calm harbor in the sea of living.

Patience: Practice patience, especially taming of the tongue. Be diligent in understanding one another and being understood. Improve communication skills together.

Kindness: Bless your mate more in small ways. Encouraging words, sewing that button on for them, making their favorite dessert, etcetera.  Your love is your best friend, so let your actions show it.

Goodness: Know your good qualities but work on your weaker ones. Ask them to share what they see as a growth area for you. Then strive to make positive changes in that area.

Faithfulness: Faithfulness is fueled by commitment. Are you allowing your mate to see the deeper you in intimacy (aka in-to-me-see)?  Commit more time to reaching a deeper level of meaningful conversations and sharing of feelings.

             Faithfulness also involves your time as a couple with God. Marriage has three members: man, woman, and God.  A three-legged stool is stronger than one with only two legs. Allow God into your marriage and you will find your marriage strong enough to weather any storm life throws at you.

Gentleness: Show more compassion and gentleness towards your love’s needs. Complete them in a loving way. If not sure of their “needs”, ask them.

Self- control: Work on bad habits. Define what one’s you need to work on the most, and get started! This is definitely my weakest area of the “fruits of the spirit”. It is easy to slip into a rut and revert back to bad habits. I must diligently focus to stay on track with my goals to overcome bad habits.

            Life certainly has a way of making best intentions fall to the wayside. My actions and words may not always reflect the honor our love deserves, but I do strive more than not to assure John that “we” is my first priority.  Without John, my life would be void, barren, and so lonely. He completes me.

Family Focus

After dinner one evening, clear the table and get out the shaving cream!  It is a lot of fun painting with shaving cream together, no matter what age the kids (or adults).  Then when it is bedtime, you may still smell the shaving cream when you tuck them in. Go ahead and inhale deeply. You just made a special memory and tucked it into your mind and heart.

Week’s Verse

Galatians 5:25

“Since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

Weekly Recipe

Greek Meatloaf

1 Onion, chopped

2Tbsp. butter

½ cup shredded carrot

½ cup shredded potato

1 small zucchini or eggplant, pared and shredded

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 lbs gd. Beef or a mixture of beef, gd. Turkey or pork

2 eggs

2 med. Tomatoes, diced

1 ½ cups bread crumbs

2 tsp. sea salt

½ tsp. cinnamon

¼ tsp. pepper

4 Tbsp. lemon juice

2 Tbsp. sugar

Sauté onion in butter. Add remaining vegetables (except tomatoes) and garlic; tossing to blend. Cover, cook 5 minutes or till wilted but still crisp.  Combine meat, eggs, tomatoes, bread crumbs, seasonings and half of the lemon juice. Mix well in a large bowl. Add cooked vegetables and blend gently. Form into a loaf, place in a lightly greased baking pan. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes. Mix remaining lemon juice and the sugar until sugar is dissolved. Brush over loaf. Bake 15 minutes longer.

Weekly Websites

www.familylife.com  This websites is another great one for couples. Leading experts offer encouragement and help on marriage and family issues from a biblical perspective.

Weekly Book

Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman   This book is a great one to read together.  Dr. Leman even has a question section, chapters for engaged couples, etc.  It will definitely spark interest in the bedroom and conversations for both of you!

Couple Time

Be sure to keep dating!  Did you know there are four types of dates? Traditional- you know, movie and dinner. Spice them up a little and take turns planning them. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean boring dates or ending up at Wal-Mart shopping!

 Extraordinary or esp. memorable- Like a carriage ride, overnight in a hotel, etc. Make sure you do this type at least once a year.

At Home- Farm out the kids, lock the doors, and enjoy! This is not the time to work on house projects!

With another couple- Make sure it is a couple you both like and that are a positive influence.  This type of date can be at home, their home, or out somewhere together.

Now both of you make a list of 25 date ideas, share them and start enjoying date night!

Couple Question!

Define six goals for your marriage.  These goals should include short and long term goals. What steps do you need to take to make the goals a reality?

Concerns & Celebrations

Concern- From C.R.-Please pray for our family. We seem to be drifting farther apart as the kids have grown and started their own families.

  Celebration- Congrats to Clarence and Brooke Vaughn on their new bundle of joy, Jordan!

Celebration- From T.B. – Praise the Lord, I got a job after more than a year of looking!

Concern- I am facing health issues that are really hindering my daily life. Please pray for the doctors to figure out what is going on and that I will get better.

Do you have a concern or celebration to share?  Let me know and I will include it. I keep them anonymous unless you request your name be included.

Kid’s Classics

Gina knew her 4 year old daughter, Amber had to be up to something, as it was way too quiet and even their  big dog ( a Newfoundland) was missing in action.  Gina found them both in the bathroom. Amber had painted the dog with Vaseline! 

Please feel free to share your stories too!

Comments Corner

I would like to share Christmas holiday ideas and traditions over the next few months.  Please send yours to the email listed below and I will include them!

Comments and suggestions are really welcomed here! Let me know what you think or what you would like to share!  E-mail is pavient73@comcast.net

Enjoy the first week of October!